YES a highly sensitive child's wobbles and melt-downs can feel totally frustrating at times! Especially if you’re tired and running low on patience.
The eruptions and upsets of a more highly strung child can be inconvenient too if you’re trying to get out of the house- and no doubt you’ve felt like all eyes are on you when it happens in public- eeek!
I’ve been there…you’re absolutely not alone.
The good news is that when you better understand your child's intense emotions and how to best meet their unique needs, you can transform the BIG eruptions into minor wobbles that are moved on from QUICKLY. ⠀⠀
Here are my top parenting strategies for how to calm your highly sensitive child down FAST in those most challenging moments you face:
Take a Child’s-Eye-View
In these difficult moments be sure to *pause* then ask yourself:
“What might be going on in their head right now?”
…Take a moment to feel curious about why the situation is such a big deal for them.
Seeing things from your child’s point of view is such an important tool as it helps your them to feel more connected to you.
Shift Yourself
The minute we urge ourselves to get curious (not furious!), we can then shift how we’re feeling into a warmer and more connected place.
It’s amazing how much more patient and creative we’re then able to be, which sets us up to be in a much better mind space for helping them.
Help Them To Feel Seen and Heard
It’s very easy to fall into the trap of judging, shaming, criticizing or getting irritated with a highly sensitive or highly strung child. We’ve all done it. But more often than not, all a child needs to calm down, is simply to be heard.⠀⠀
With no drama or judgement on your part.⠀⠀
Try it...⠀⠀
Resist the urge to shower them with reasons why they shouldn't feel the way they do, or reasons to cheer up…
Put aside any worries or judgements that automatically take up space in your mind in these moments and just BE with your child.
Let them know that you see and hear their emotional struggle
Sometimes saying something brief like "I'm really sorry that is making you feel bad sweetheart", IS ENOUGH. ⠀⠀
It's amazing how quickly the initial trigger stops being a big deal once they have their emotion validated and they feel connected in that moment, rather than judged for their intense feelings.⠀⠀
Remember that for them it’s real and it’s tough
Even if you have no idea what’s going on in their head at times, just take a moment to show that you're witnessing their struggle. Because often, that's enough.
Emotions are never felt as strongly as when you’re young, especially a highly sensitive/ highly strung child. Connect with them…
They need you to share your calm and concern. They don't need you to join their chaos.
Don't underestimate the impact of you having a quiet acceptance of their emotion (however irrational or OTT it may seem). This is by far the best way to calm a highly sensitive child.⠀⠀
Any other response is at risk of amplifying the emotion; think of it like adding fuel to their emotional flames...and WHOOSH... full eruption ensues.⠀⠀
Have you heard of the Highly Sensitive Trait?
It’s a biologically-based trait discovered in the 1990’s and fully backed up by science. It could explain a lot for you.
Highly sensitive children feel everything so much more intensely and YES they can appear irrational and over the top, but there's ALWAYS more to their reaction than meets the eye.⠀⠀
