What Causes A Highly Sensitive Child?

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Understanding this is a revelation for so many parents as it not only helps you to make total sense of things but also allows you to finally know how to turn things around.

Young highly sensitive girl with long hair and a pink bow in her hair, holding a small bouquet of white flowers, sitting on grass with trees in the background.

Looking for Highly Sensitive Child NHS support or tests?

You are in the right place for resources- although sadly it’s a widely overlooked area of individual difference within the NHS and other national healthcare and education systems globally.

I’m here to bridge that gap.

Most parents that come to me have pre-conceived ideas such as:

- We’re talking about ‘sensitivity’ in the traditional sense of the word and that it’s a ‘weakness’

- Their highly sensitive child needs to be viewed under the lens of ‘symptoms’ or as having a potential medical ‘condition’

- Parenting a Highly Sensitive child will only ever be hard and exhausting

If this is you, you’re not alone- but these misconceptions are A BIG part of the problem.

Keep reading to learn the real and biological causes of highly sensitive children (also known as Sensory Processing Sensitivity) and some reassuring insights that will change your lives forever.

In a nutshell, not all children are equal in how their nervous systems are wired.

Highly sensitive children/ children with sensory processing sensitivity have more innately delicate nervous system, so they are more than just ‘sensitive’ in the traditional sense of the word.

This nervous system sensitivity for some might warrant an official diagnosis such as Autism or ADHD. For some their biological sensitivity stems from a significant trauma, but the majority will fit the highly sensitive trait identified and coined by Psychologist Elaine Aron in the 1980s.

And there are no ‘symptoms’ of being a highly sensitive child- it is not a disorder or condition, it’s a neutral trait that exists in roughly 1 in 5 individuals. There are however many characteristics, which will be outlined below to bring you much clarity.

Frustratingly, the highly sensitive trait in children is not something that is recognised widely enough, not even within the NHS framework or other national healthcare systems.

It is however extensively supported by scientific research and the understanding it brings parents has been transformative for countless families globally.

I aim to raise awareness and provide resources to those affected.

Let’s clarify what we mean by biologically-based sensitivity…

in 2005 two leading researchers introduced a lovely flower metaphor that reflects the differences in biological sensitivity and how affected we are by environmental factors. We all fall into one of the 3 groups:

  • The Orchids - Are highly sensitive and need more careful nurturing in order to do well

  • The Dandelions - Are those who are more easily able to flourish, even in more difficult circumstances

  • The Tulips - those who are in the middle.

Like flowers, some kids are hardier, others are a lot more sensitive and some can of course be anywhere in-between!

Understanding the ‘orchids’ of the world

The orchids, who have high biological sensitivity, will inevitably experience much more stress on their nervous system, as a result of certain social, physical and emotional stimuli.

Thank goodness for Elaine Aron identifying the highly sensitive trait! This really paved the way for much better understanding of children who up to this point were just being labelled as ‘shy’, ‘introverted’, ‘inhibited’ or ‘problematic’.

Elaine’s work has played a key part in evolving our understanding of an important area of individual difference and given the ‘orchids’ of the world a life-altering sense of validation and ‘belonging’.

A contented highly sensitive boy with closed eyes lies on a bed of autumn leaves, wearing a green jacket.

Probably The Most Fascinating Aspect Of The Highly Sensitive Trait…

Also underlying this trait (found in an estimated 1 in 5 people) is an intriguing ability of the brain to process the world at a much greater depth.

This makes it an exciting aspect of individual difference, as a huge mental capacity underlies it.

It’s actually quite a superpower and brings with it many gifts, some of which may not have been unlocked yet.

But at the same time there is great potential for overwhelm if it’s not understood or nurtured correctly.

Having a more finely tuned and perceptive mind means that emotions are felt so much more deeply too.

Young highly sensitive girl relaxing on grass with her loyal dog by her side.

THE KEY CHARACTERISTICS:

Remember that these are not ‘symptoms’; being a highly sensitive child is a trait, not a condition.

Whilst no two children will be the same, ALL of the following criteria will fit them to some degree:

  1. They experience and process the world much more deeply

    Your child will take in more, think more, notice more, remember more, question more…their brains are like super-computers!

  2. They are prone to overstimulation

    This might present as ‘meltdowns’, ‘shutdowns’, difficulty sleeping, sadness, anger or despair. How often this occurs depends largely on how well they are able to live in alignment with their unique needs.

  3. They are Emotionally Intense

    Whilst this isn't always externally obvious, all highly sensitive children FEEL so much more deeply. Their emotions are experienced in a much more dialled-up way and they can’t turn this off.

  4. They have a Sensitivity To The Subtleties

    Think of it like they have millions of antennas creating a greater bombardment on their senses and experiences.

    What they find particularly bothersome will differ hugely from child to child and can present itself in various different ways; from extreme ‘fussiness’ to being the one who notices EVERYTHING.

None of us experience the world in the same way

We’re all wired differently.

Subsequently different people can feel things with greater or lesser intensity.

This doesn’t mean that anything’s wrong though, it’s simply the richness of humans.

Highly Sensitive or Austism?

With their being such a huge overlap between the highly sensitive trait and autism, many parents are feeling confused or concerned about what’s really going on. Afterall they’re both in essence forms of biologically-based sensitivity, meaning that overwhelm, sensory overload and overstimulation can occur for each.

There are however certain red flags to look out for in autism that do distinguish it from the highly sensitive trait.

It is of course also possible for a child to be both highly sensitive AND autistic.

CLICK HERE TO EXPLORE THIS FURTHER

Young girl in vibrant butterfly cape looking out a window

Trauma as another cause of high sensitivity

Since the main job of the brain is to make sure we survive, it’s no surprise to learn that for children who have been through trauma, they can end up with a nervous system with a really poor sense of safety.

This is exactly why they might remain emotionally dysregulated and so easily triggered; they’re living in a trauma response, prepped and ready for any future danger.

Most children with the highly sensitive trait or neurodiversity have experienced trauma to some degree and so have this as a confounding element of their high sensitivity.

Trauma can be less conspicuous and can simply come from feeling misunderstood or not good enough and woven into their struggles, upsets and experiences.

The Struggles Faced By Those with High Sensitivity

A young girl gently holds a yellow bird in her hands.

The struggles so often come from having to fit into a world that misunderstands them and doesn’t meet their unique needs.

School can be especially challenging since the entire environment and set-up couldn’t be further from their needs.

Not all teachers are attuned to the anxiety and discomfort that they can so easily be thrust into either, meaning that communication styles that are effective with other pupils, can cause unseen struggles in highly sensitive children.

So these children can end up anxious, angry, unhappy and lacking in confidence, a world that so often misjudges them, or even comes down hard on them, rather than understand them and meet their needs.

There is nowhere near enough recognition of highly sensitive children in schools, the NHS or other healthcare systems globally. These awesome little humans, who are essentially square pegs being expected to fit into round holes, deserve way more understanding.

Is it any surprise they are insecure and struggling?

THE GREAT NEWS

Children's Life Coach In Cheltenham with two thriving boys by her side

I want you to know that there is huge potential to turn everything around for your child and for your entire family unit.

You’ve simply been missing a huge part of the picture!

To address the oversight of this trait within the education and healthcare systems, including the NHS for those in the UK, I offer a free course as well as paid for services.

I hope you enjoy browsing my website and finding out more about how I can help. But if you’re ready to jump in and work with me, just ping me a message using the form below.

I can’t wait to find out more about your child and start you on a journey of transformation…

Sarah xx

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